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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Crank: High Voltage - Thriller To Close All Thriller Movies

By Siskel Hammerstein

If you are the kind of person that needs to see a movie that is plausible, and based on real life events, then you probably shouldn't see "Crank: High Voltage," starring Jason Statham. However, if you like movies that are completely over the top when it comes to action, dialogue, story lines, and an occasional porn star thrown in for good measure, then this flick is not to be missed.

Our mythological account starts out with the protagonist being thrown out of a helicopter. The huge bump he makes on the ground makes the evening news, of course, but not before his body is scooped up and taken away in a van filled with doubtful characters. Next thing we know, our protagonist is lying in a make shift hospice, and being operated on by a physician with a cigarette hanging out of his jaws.

He wakes up, and discovers that his heart has been replaced by a motorized heart. We find out that our hero has an exceptionally brawny heart, and it has been stolen to be implanted into the leader of a acknowledged criminal crowd somewhere in Southern California. So our leading role has to not only find his initial heart, but he also has to find someone to change it out with the electrical one that has been entrenched into him.

There's only one problem. His electrical, transitory heart runs off of an external battery that gets scratched somehow. So he must always give himself electrical shocks to keep his temporary heart from giving out on him. This makes for an exciting pursue across the wilderness of southern California, as he battles gangsters from all walks of life.

All the way through the total quest to locate his earliest heart, he is in steady contact with a acquaintance of his, who happens to be a trained open heart medical doctor, although we learn he has had his medicinal license taken away due to some regrettable mishap that unfolded with an ex girlfriend of his. But even so, we believe that once our hero locates his initial heart, his companion will be able to swap it out with the imitation one.

We have the final campaign, which includes our central character, two competitor gangs, and a gangster's head that is being kept living in jar. In a last ditch effort to charge his heart one last time, our hero climbs up an electrical pole and zaps himself one last time. But the electrical shock proves to be a bit too stout, and he is engulfed in combustion. Meanwhile, his accessory fruitfully finds his innovative heart, and his acquaintance, the disgraced heart surgeon, attempts to restore him to health. Will he be successful? The only way to find out is to hire this unbelievable DVD, before it's too late.

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